Thousand Reasons Thursdays - Journal Entry Series 1

While I was tending to Paxton in the hospital, I decided to record everything that was happening in a journal, written to him, so he could look back on it one day, and see where he had come from and how blessed we all were for where he is today.

So I want to start a series of all the entries for you to see, starting with a summary of all the goings on from his birth through April of that year:

1/24/99 - Present (4/21/99)

[Me] What a roller coaster ride you've taken us on! You were under bili lights for jaundice. You had Ductus Ligation surgery a week after you were born, and Dad & I were beside ourselves with worry. Pastor Doug came up and we prayed for you and laid hands on you before they operated. We also dedicated you that day (2-2-99). Then you were on and off CPAP and ventilator for a few weeks. When we finally got you on to nasal canula for a week, they told us you had to have hernia surgery!! We worried some more and you were put on ventilator for a day (we also had you circumcised, so you wouldn't have to be bothered later!!). You had a rough time recovering from the surgery and were on and off CPAP for weeks.

Meanwhile you were having tons of blood tests and chest films and taking all different kinds of meds. You were about a month old when we held you for the first time. We were so happy! I thought I would cry but it didn't hit me until later -- and I bawled! A couple of weeks later I tried to breast feed you. You latched right on and went to town sucking, but about 5 minutes later you pooped out, so we bottle-fed you the rest.

That pretty much brings us up to date, except for the details. You can ask us for a detailed version anytime because Dad & I will never forget this experience!!!

[Casey] Really tough to see you have to go through so much pain. I'm glad you won't remember. I matched your blood type and didn't have CMV so I gave blood twice for your transfusions. Everyone says that you are a real fighter. They all say you are so cute - they also say that you look just like me.

It's interesting to look back and see Casey's and my different personalities come through in our entries. I am very focused on the concrete, physical aspects of what was going on with our son. In fact, I was truly fascinated by every medical aspect of his care. Looking back, I know it was easier to focus on things I see and "help" with than with things I couldn't control, especially overwhelming emotions. It was easier to focus on the statistics and procedures than it was to seek God and draw close to Him. This was however when He would begin to mold me and shape me as His child. This is just one of the "thousand reasons why" I can praise Him!